More on Summer Reading

I flipped through "The Dangerous Book for Boys" yesterday. I was most interested in the lists and short essays, though I think my kids will enjoy the instructional pages on knots, etc. My brother was pretty excited that I got the book. He had been thinking about getting it himself. Definitely a book for short attention spans or for reading in places that are loud or filled with other distractions.

Harry Potter mania is beginning in our house. My ten year old is reading his second Potter of the summer, "Order of the Phoenix." Reading has not ever been a chore for him, but I can't recall a time that he has read as voraciously as he is this summer. He was up pretty late last night and then scared himself. Oh, to be ten again.

Our five year old was making some pretty interesting comparisons yesterday between Dobby in the Harry Potter books, and Yoda from Star Wars. He said they were both small and green and they both used the force! I have to say, I was pretty impressed. I hope that he keeps all this up in the fall in Kindergarten.

I haven't had my untrained political commentary of the week yet. You probably heard that a Chinese official in the equivalent of the FDA was executed this week. He was convicted (?) of taking bribes and then allowing substandard or fake products into the Chinese market. Ten people died as a result of taking some bad antibiotics. I'm sure that this was done mainly for show, in order to regain US confidence in Chinese products. Recently there have been reports of poisonous toothpaste, dog food, kid's jewelry with excess amounts of lead, bad tires and fish with dangerous additives. Yikes! I don't easily scare, but this does frighten me just a bit. How do we know that our imports are safe? There are some safety measures in place to ensure imported food is safe, but not all imports are tested. (See the FDA website for details http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~lrd/import.html ). The obvious way to stay completely safe is to never use imported products but this is ludicrous. I doubt there is a single person in this country who would be able to successfully avoid all imports, especially since some items aren't labeled as imports, IE some seafood. The only thing to so is stay informed.

Time to antagonize the children! Have a lovely day!

Finished the Book

I finished "The Emperor's Children" yesterday. I'm proud of myself for finishing a book I didn't like. Yet I'm wondering why I did. I guess I felt I owed it to you, my loyal readers. Ha ha ha. I don't want to spoil anything for you, but the events of 9/11 have an impact on the unlikeable characters lives, but not in a wholly satisfying way. The Emperor, Murray Thwaite is at Danielle's apartment for an overnight tryst when the planes crash. He's supposed to be in Chicago and even though he knows going home will reveal his deceitful ways to his wife, he goes anyway. And there are no consequences. She doesn't get angry, he doesn't seem to be humbled by her behavior. He just goes on being his shallow, self-absorbed self. The magazine launch is postponed inevitably to Lugo heads off to London to find new work. Marina should take this opportunity to leave him, but she doesn't. Julius, who I continually want to call Julian ends up destroying his relationship with David by having a fling in a bathroom, during which he is caught by David and severely beaten. He, too, doesn't seem changed by anything. And Frederick behaves most strangely of all, but then again, maybe not. He basically fakes his own death and flees to Florida, until he is spotted by Danielle and then readies to flee again.

I can relate to Frederick. He's totally let down by this group of people he's idolized and wants a fresh start. Who hasn't wanted a fresh start? I cannot, however, begin to comprehend the other shallow, people in this book. Wholly unsatisfying read for me. I find myself remembering my response to Woody Allen's "Crimes and Misdemeanors, " a film filled with unlikeable people who literally get away with murder. I guess in my very simple mind, good should triumph over evil, even though I know it often doesn't.

My next read will be "The Charterhouse of Parma." I also got "The Dangerous Book for Boys" by Conn and Hal Iggulden. This is essentially a reminder to todays children that there is more to fill the void than video games, text messaging and Youtube. I showed it to my boys. I think the bright red cover and the huge gold letters make it look somewhat enchanting. I hope my boys keep this forever so that their grandchildren will one day, find it in their libraries and go off to try making crystals and quote inane Latin phrases to their teachers and parents.

Family Dynamics

I had lunch with a friend yesterday. We spent much of the 2 hours talking about our own kids, comparing notes of the school related drama of our little perfectionists, but then the conversation turned to the topic of surrogate parenting. It seems that both of us have acquired children this summer that we really don't want. Hers is a friend of her daughter's and mine is my neighbor's daughter. At first, with, my neighbor's kid, I was sympathetic, but as the summer has progressed, I have to say, I'm annoyed. My neighbors work and their kids are home with their grandmother during the day. They are great people with great kids. There is no reason for their daughter to come to me with every little bump, scrape, scratch, bruise, dispute or any other such children's triviality. Yet she does. I finally have stopped letting her come in my house. It sounds heartless, but I have to ask, is it heartless to encourage a child to be close to her own family? It's not like she's neglected or unloved. What else can I do?

My friend's situation is slightly different. Her daughter's friend moved to the area in January and the daughter is one of her only friends. She has claimed that kids have started an I Hate _____ club at school, she says her parents have no money and they have to move, yet she's participating in a ton of activities over the summer. There are many inconsistencies. My friend only has one child so this girl has many opportunities. She's not over-indulged or spoiled. She's a wonderful little girl with a very big heart. I think her friend is playing on her sympathy and manipulating her a little bit. She's making her family out to be monsters who can't afford to do anything, but they're putting a deck on their house. It makes no sense. After 3 consecutive weekend sleepovers, my friend finally told her daughter that if her friend wanted her to go to their house and sleepover, she could, but they were taking a break. This decision came after my friend was a little late picking up her daughter at knitting class. The friend was also there, not having been picked up either, but showing no interest in contacting her own family, though my friend's kid has a cell phone. It all seemed an orchestrated effort to get an invite to their house. Enough was enough.

So when do you let a child into your life and home? Neither of the kids I am writing about come from homes where they are neglected. They're clean, well fed, loved, indulged. What makes a kid want another family instead of their own? I know when I was young, I spent a ton of time at my friend's house across the street. There were 6 girls, as opposed to my houseful of boys. My parent's were divorced, theirs were dead and they lived with their stepmother. I didn't need their parents, I just wanted to play with their Barbies and braid hair, sing the soundtrack of Grease and do other girly things that I didn't get to do at home. My time at home was spent drawing, reading and doing other solitary activities. My time at my friend's was a diversion. Did I make up stories about my family's woes? Did I manipulate invitations? Somehow I doubt it. I remember one or another of my brothers coming to retrieve me very frequently. Is this a normal childhood process, testing out other families? I'm at a loss.

My friend rented out part of a theatre on Tuesday for a Harry Potter party. (I may want to live with her, actually. She's way more fun than I am.) She's having butter beer, pumpkin juice, and other Harry Potter treats. My son is very excited. I will have to stay home with the 5 year old. He's too young for Harry Potter movies. I think the Harry Potter books are great. I see kids with them all over the place all summer long. It's great to see kids excited for a book as opposed to a movie or video game release. What will they read next summer? Maybe JK Rowling will start another book series.

Summer Treats and Feats

Another hot day in suburban Maryland. Today, it's supposed to be 99. These are days meant for fasting, or simply eating fresh summer fruits and vegetables. One of my favorite summer treats is Moon Berries. This was something we enjoyed almost exclusively at our grandparent's house when we were kids. Take green grapes, add enough sour cream (or vanilla yogurt) to coat and then a tablespoon of brown sugar to sweeten slightly. I've tried serving this up to my kids but they don't seem to enjoy it as much as I did when I was a kid. Another summer taste treat is cucumber salad. I take cucumbers, wash and peel them and slice them. I add a handful of slices of sweet onion, enough plain yogurt to coat and a dash of chives or dill. I love the crunchy, cool texture of the cucumbers, the slight bitterness of the yogurt and the blast of onion. The combination of flavors satisfies hunger without weighing you down on a hot, sticky "triple H" day.

Two days until my brother and sister get here. There were a flurry of emails yesterday about weekend plans. It was quite overwhelming. My sister and I hadn't spoken for almost 3 years. We had a severe falling out after our mother's accident in January of 2004. We were all under a tremendous amount of stress and in text book fashion, did everything you shouldn't do when a parent has a health crisis. Things were said that were very hurtful. We reconciled in a fashion at our brother's wedding in March of this year, but I still find myself somewhat skeptical. Consequently, I'm not sure I want to spend every waking moment of 3 days with her. I want a break to decompress with my family. I tried to get a couple outs with the swim meet on Saturday, in the hopes that she would just go see our other brother and his son in Bethesda for the morning, but that didn't work. I guess I was too subtle. I'll be more direct when they get here.

On an upbeat note, our mother has agreed to come visit the two assisted living facilities this Friday. She said she will see them so we can put this all to rest. What a relief. This statement gave me the opportunity to tell her that no one wants her institutionalized, but we want to ensure that she's safe. With our mother, I think a lot of her resistance is related to her attachment to material objects. She would have to downsize significantly if she were to go to assisted living. That would mean giving up a lot of stuff. Her stuff matters to her, probably too much. She would also most likely have to get rid of her golden retriever who is the most important living thing in her life. This isn't a definite. I think a home-based facility would be willing to let her keep the dog as long as she could walk her, and take care of her. Her ability to do this now is questionable. She can't walk her when it's too hot or too cold so she simply puts her on a lead in front of the apartment. I doubt this would work anywhere else she would live. I'm not ready to battle her over the dog right now. Perhaps I'll leave that for someone else.

Off to swim practice, then the gym and lunch with a friend. Sounds like the day of a truly useless woman. Try not to judge.

Dog Battles and Hot Plants

I still haven't told friends and family about my blog. I don't know why. Is it normal to blog in secret?

It's supposed to be 100 degrees today. That's very hot! We won't be doing much of anything; swim practice, gym, maybe the library, probably the pool later this afternoon... Pretty mundane day ahead of us. We'll be working with the dog, trying to get him to stop attacking his food, causing it to spill all over the floor. For some reason, this makes my husband crazy. Oh well. He has a right to walk in the kitchen without crunching tiny puppy kibbles.

I have to remember to water the plants on these hot days. My tomatoes are starting to come in. I'm very excited about this. It's been a couple years since we've grown tomatoes. It looks like we'll be hauling in a bumper crop, too. Before my neighbors moved a year and a half ago, we joked about growing complimentary "crops" in our patio planters. I even promised to keep hers watered if she would just get them in the dirt. Then her local job was eliminated and she decided to stay with the same company and move to North Carolina. Now I have no complimentary crops. I have expanded my planter assortment to include garlic, basil, chives and eucalyptus. The chives and eucalyptus were mainly placed to keep deer from the tomatoes. I've used the chives and basil a couple times. I'll start surfing the web in the next few weeks to see how I can "harvest" my eucalyptus and make use of it. It's not terribly aromatic. Maybe it's some weird variety that isn't as fragrant. Oh well.

The siblings get here late on Thursday. I have mixed feelings about the visit. My mother is increasingly hostile to me. Every time I call her and ask her what she's been doing, I get responses like, "Well you told me not to call you." I did tell her not to call 4 and 5 times a day but in her mind, I am the personification of evil and everything I say is twisted into a vicious statement. I understand that she thinks she's perfectly capable of staying independent but I don't think she is. I was reading about normal pressure hydrocephalus yesterday and she is more at risk for falls because of the illness's effect on a person's gait. Her gait is exactly as described on the Neurology Today website, wide-based, short, slow and shuffling. I guess this is like any other situation where someone is having difficulty accepting the problems in their life. She may just have to hit the bottom before she realizes she needs help.

The Futile War

One hundred-thirty people were killed in a truck bomb attack in Iraq yesterday. I'm no more a military strategist than I am a political strategist, but it seems to me that we aren't winning the war in Iraq. Reports say that the truck bombing was orchestrated by Al Qaeda, who is trying to incite a full scale civil war between Sunni and Shiite muslims. 30,000 additional US troops have been deployed to Iraq, yet there are still mass casualties of Iraqi civilians and US troops. I was looking at a website this morning that lists DOD statistics of coalition casualties. The numbers are staggering. So far this month, there have been 27 military fatalities. The worst month was November, 2004 when 137 soldiers were killed. The worst month thus far in 2007 was May when 126 were killed. So far this month, 272 Iraqis have been killed. This includes security forces and civilians. I don't believe the attack from yesterday is included in those numbers. The worst month for Iraqi deaths is September of 2006 when 3539 deaths were reported. The worst month this year was February when 3014 people were killed. The site, if you're interested is http://icasualties.org/oif/ .

I'm sure people who believe they are smarter than me about wars and military things will say that the numbers are not the only thing you can look at to determine the success or failure of a military operation. I'm sure they aren't, but I'm a numbers person. For those who aren't, let's look at some faces. There is the face of the young man at the Capital Fourth celebration in Washington DC this past Wednesday who had the side of his head blown off. There are the faces of the couple who have been fighting the military for months over disability benefits (see the Washington Post series on the treatment of veterans at Walter Reed Medical Center). There's the face of the soldier who went missing last month in Iraq while his wife was home fighting deportation. There's the face of our president and others in his administration who continually say we are winning the war.

I don't believe it would be right to completely pull our forces out of Iraq cold turkey. I think it's time for a gradual scaling back of support of the Iraqi security force until we have fewer than 5000 troops in the country. The administration is studying the Algerian war for independence that went from 1954 to 1962 for lessons in how to handle the conflict in Iraq. There are similarities and differences between Iraq and Algeria, but the most interesting thing I find about the Algerian conflict is that Charles De Gaulle withdrew troops in 1962 because opposition to the war was so strong, some say France was on the verge of civil war over it. Clearly things aren't that bad here. But it's time to bring these young men and women home.