Monday is the first day of school for our kids. One will be in 5th grade and the other will be in Kindergarten. As is to be expected, our youngest is elated at the prospect of attending school. We went to the Open House today and he met his teacher, navigated his way through all the areas of the classroom, played with other kids, got hugged by some little girl and generally had a rocking good time.
I do not look forward to Monday. My baby is starting his departure from my nest. This is not really okay with me. I like having a little kid around who comes up and kisses my hand for no apparent reason. Now that he's the BMOC on the Kindergarten campus, I am left with a fluffy little dog who occasionally eats his own poo. Monday, I'll cry at my friend's house with at least one other woman who is sending her baby to Kindergarten and a bunch of other women who have done this all before. I'm sure I am not alone in my opinion of the first day of school, but somehow I feel like no one gets me right now.
Motherhood is brutal sometimes.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Escape
Not much excitement in the blogosphere today. The boys have a dentist appointment this morning which they both appear to be dreading with every fiber of their beings. It's drizzling again this morning, but there is some hope for sun this afternoon. If the temperature breaks 80, we will go to the pool. Only 3 days left until the pool closes, and I want to get as much time in there as possible.
This rain has given us lots of time for movies and books. I did pick up "Emma," but found myself uninterested in Austen right now. I was able to find an interesting looking book at the library called "The Piano Tuner," by Daniel Mason. It's about a British piano tuner in the late 19th century who is commissioned by the Army to go to Burma to tune a piano belonging to an Army officer. It's an excellent read, so far. I've enjoyed the descriptions of the tuner's journey to Burma and look forward to reading more of his adventure in the jungle, and how his experience changes him and encourages his growth as a man.
I have few regrets about my life. I went to an excellent college. I have a beautiful home and the most loving family a woman could desire. I do wish that, as an adolescent, I had been less scared of failure. I gave up on things that got too hard, particularly when I was no longer going to be at the top of the game. This fear deprived me of trying new things. For example, I never studied abroad. How great it would have been to immerse myself in another culture, to learn a different language, establish life long friendships with people in other parts of the world. Instead, I stayed planted in the Midwest, doing nothing more exotic than eating at a Vietnamese restaurant adjacent to our campus.
Books like "The Piano Tuner" help me overcome these regrets. And there are always the children through whom I can live vicariously. My hope for my boys is that they will be more adventurous then their father and I were in our youth. Our oldest is quite a good cellist. I hope he has an opportunity to study with some cello master in Europe come day. Our youngest is very brave and outgoing. He has a remarkable interest in anatomy and the way our bodies work. He enjoys trying medical instruments when he visits the doctor, and we're lucky to have doctors who let him do this. I hope he ends up in a medical field and takes the opportunity to use his skills to help people around the world.
I can still travel abroad. Of course, it's not the same traveling as a 40 year old with 2 kids as it would have been as a 20 year old with no responsibility. The most important thing I can do is cling to my spirit of adventure and not settle into a mundane life.
This rain has given us lots of time for movies and books. I did pick up "Emma," but found myself uninterested in Austen right now. I was able to find an interesting looking book at the library called "The Piano Tuner," by Daniel Mason. It's about a British piano tuner in the late 19th century who is commissioned by the Army to go to Burma to tune a piano belonging to an Army officer. It's an excellent read, so far. I've enjoyed the descriptions of the tuner's journey to Burma and look forward to reading more of his adventure in the jungle, and how his experience changes him and encourages his growth as a man.
I have few regrets about my life. I went to an excellent college. I have a beautiful home and the most loving family a woman could desire. I do wish that, as an adolescent, I had been less scared of failure. I gave up on things that got too hard, particularly when I was no longer going to be at the top of the game. This fear deprived me of trying new things. For example, I never studied abroad. How great it would have been to immerse myself in another culture, to learn a different language, establish life long friendships with people in other parts of the world. Instead, I stayed planted in the Midwest, doing nothing more exotic than eating at a Vietnamese restaurant adjacent to our campus.
Books like "The Piano Tuner" help me overcome these regrets. And there are always the children through whom I can live vicariously. My hope for my boys is that they will be more adventurous then their father and I were in our youth. Our oldest is quite a good cellist. I hope he has an opportunity to study with some cello master in Europe come day. Our youngest is very brave and outgoing. He has a remarkable interest in anatomy and the way our bodies work. He enjoys trying medical instruments when he visits the doctor, and we're lucky to have doctors who let him do this. I hope he ends up in a medical field and takes the opportunity to use his skills to help people around the world.
I can still travel abroad. Of course, it's not the same traveling as a 40 year old with 2 kids as it would have been as a 20 year old with no responsibility. The most important thing I can do is cling to my spirit of adventure and not settle into a mundane life.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
It's another pre-autumn day in lovely suburban Maryland. I am enjoying a nice hot caramel spice latte (from my home espresso machine) while the boys watch classic cartoons on the Howard County cable channel. Later today, we will go pick play giant chess at the library. Then we'll go get eggs and milk and come home and bake something. This has the beginnings of a perfect day to be a mom.
I have done some excellent cooking and baking over the past week that I have neglected to share with you, my faithful reader. (Come on, I know there's really only one of you out there.) Last week, I made some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. These were the biggest baking hit I've had in months. Generally, there is a first day surge of excitement around my baked goods. Then, the excitement dwindles until the treats develop a cushion of mold and get thrown away on day 4 or 5. The boys wanted them for breakfast and every snack until they were completely gone. I'd share my recipe but it wasn't mine. I googled pumpkin chocolate chip muffin and used one of the recipes that popped up. I can say that I did modify the spices. I doubled the amount the recipe indicated, and substituted all spice for the nutmeg and ginger, mostly because I had it and didn't have the others. Nothing warms my heart more than my cooking creations being devoured by my family.
My other cooking success was a pizza I made the other night for dinner. I took Trader Joe pizza dough, spread it with a mixture of pesto and cream cheese, added pancetta, tomatoes from my garden, and topped it with a blend of 4 cheeses. This was perhaps one of the finest pizzas I have ever eaten. And unlike other things that I make, it was actually attractive! I was very tempted to hide the leftovers from my husband so I could keep it all to myself. Alas, he took it to work for lunch and finished it. Major disappointment. I guess I'll have to make more today. This is okay because I have a pack of turkey pepperoni that needs to be used anyway.
I've been in a bit of a funk since our friend learned he had cancer. His diagnosis left me feeling like life is very uncertain. We have routines and patterns that we follow. We awaken at the same time. We have pretty much the same thing for breakfast. We do laundry and other housework on the same days. Our kids grow accustomed to this certainty. Then suddenly, without warning, everything can be in a massive tizzy. When I feel upended, I need to create my way back to normalcy. I've done this through various crafts, mainly quilting with a little knitting on the side, thanks to the invention of the Knifty Knitter. I also cook. These two projects have lifted my back to a better place.
My friend and his family are working their way back to a better place too. But please do keep them in your prayers.
I have done some excellent cooking and baking over the past week that I have neglected to share with you, my faithful reader. (Come on, I know there's really only one of you out there.) Last week, I made some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. These were the biggest baking hit I've had in months. Generally, there is a first day surge of excitement around my baked goods. Then, the excitement dwindles until the treats develop a cushion of mold and get thrown away on day 4 or 5. The boys wanted them for breakfast and every snack until they were completely gone. I'd share my recipe but it wasn't mine. I googled pumpkin chocolate chip muffin and used one of the recipes that popped up. I can say that I did modify the spices. I doubled the amount the recipe indicated, and substituted all spice for the nutmeg and ginger, mostly because I had it and didn't have the others. Nothing warms my heart more than my cooking creations being devoured by my family.
My other cooking success was a pizza I made the other night for dinner. I took Trader Joe pizza dough, spread it with a mixture of pesto and cream cheese, added pancetta, tomatoes from my garden, and topped it with a blend of 4 cheeses. This was perhaps one of the finest pizzas I have ever eaten. And unlike other things that I make, it was actually attractive! I was very tempted to hide the leftovers from my husband so I could keep it all to myself. Alas, he took it to work for lunch and finished it. Major disappointment. I guess I'll have to make more today. This is okay because I have a pack of turkey pepperoni that needs to be used anyway.
I've been in a bit of a funk since our friend learned he had cancer. His diagnosis left me feeling like life is very uncertain. We have routines and patterns that we follow. We awaken at the same time. We have pretty much the same thing for breakfast. We do laundry and other housework on the same days. Our kids grow accustomed to this certainty. Then suddenly, without warning, everything can be in a massive tizzy. When I feel upended, I need to create my way back to normalcy. I've done this through various crafts, mainly quilting with a little knitting on the side, thanks to the invention of the Knifty Knitter. I also cook. These two projects have lifted my back to a better place.
My friend and his family are working their way back to a better place too. But please do keep them in your prayers.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Behold! The Sacrifice!
I have not spent much time discussing my workouts. I began working out about 3 years ago. I had gone to the doctor with some back pain. He kindly sent me to a physical therapist. My back pain was due in part to two things. One was being grossly out of shape and the other was one hip being higher than the other. The physical therapist aligned my hips and showed me several exercises to strengthen my core so my hips would stay in place.
Truthfully, what my doctor was saying to me was that I was fat. In spite of his subtlety, I received the message loud and clear. I was a short woman, only 5'2, pushing forty and wearing tight size 12 clothes. Not a pretty sight. I hit the gym. I used the treadmill and the elliptical. I used the Nautilus equipment and quickly reduced my size. I have been going to the gym consistently ever since. I am now closing in on a size 6. For the first time in 5 years, I felt comfortable in a swimming suit this summer. I feel strong. I enjoy playing with my kids because I don't get tired anymore. I don't struggle to get up off the floor. Fitness is a great thing.
That is, until you overdo it. That's what I did last week. I was doing some oblique exercises. (Sides, for those of you who don't do gym talk). I used heavier weights than normal because the ones I wanted were being used. I felt very sore for a couple days but wasn't concerned. I consider this a sign of a successful workout. You avoid injury by not working the same muscle groups everyday, so I let my aching sides rest. Then, on Saturday we were at the pool. I was in the water with our 5 year old and decided to lift him up the same way we lift up the dog. (overhead, horizontal to the ground while yelling, "Behold! The sacrifice!" I heaved his 45 lb body out of the water and straight over my head 3 or 4 times. He delighted in my feat of strength. I delighted in it too, until Sunday night. I was writhing in pain. It was like a huge wrench was squeezing my side. Advil dulls some of the pain. Heat helps a little bit, too. I can feel the swelling. My clothes are uncomfortable. My skin is tender to the touch.
I've been pretty lucky that I have not hurt myself working out. I did fall off some wedge heels last spring and twisted my ankle, but I managed to find other things to do so I wasn't out of commission. I'll have to take the week off from the gym this week, though. Obliques connect to abs which get used for pretty much everything.
"Behold! The sacrifice!!" It's me.
Truthfully, what my doctor was saying to me was that I was fat. In spite of his subtlety, I received the message loud and clear. I was a short woman, only 5'2, pushing forty and wearing tight size 12 clothes. Not a pretty sight. I hit the gym. I used the treadmill and the elliptical. I used the Nautilus equipment and quickly reduced my size. I have been going to the gym consistently ever since. I am now closing in on a size 6. For the first time in 5 years, I felt comfortable in a swimming suit this summer. I feel strong. I enjoy playing with my kids because I don't get tired anymore. I don't struggle to get up off the floor. Fitness is a great thing.
That is, until you overdo it. That's what I did last week. I was doing some oblique exercises. (Sides, for those of you who don't do gym talk). I used heavier weights than normal because the ones I wanted were being used. I felt very sore for a couple days but wasn't concerned. I consider this a sign of a successful workout. You avoid injury by not working the same muscle groups everyday, so I let my aching sides rest. Then, on Saturday we were at the pool. I was in the water with our 5 year old and decided to lift him up the same way we lift up the dog. (overhead, horizontal to the ground while yelling, "Behold! The sacrifice!" I heaved his 45 lb body out of the water and straight over my head 3 or 4 times. He delighted in my feat of strength. I delighted in it too, until Sunday night. I was writhing in pain. It was like a huge wrench was squeezing my side. Advil dulls some of the pain. Heat helps a little bit, too. I can feel the swelling. My clothes are uncomfortable. My skin is tender to the touch.
I've been pretty lucky that I have not hurt myself working out. I did fall off some wedge heels last spring and twisted my ankle, but I managed to find other things to do so I wasn't out of commission. I'll have to take the week off from the gym this week, though. Obliques connect to abs which get used for pretty much everything.
"Behold! The sacrifice!!" It's me.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Was I Wrong!
Boy was I wrong to say that Blogger had done something about the porn. It appears to be worse than ever. I can't go to Next Blog from my blog without seeing some objectionable content. This really sours the blogging experience for me.
Please do something!
Please do something!
Last Days of Summer
One week until school starts. In order to get the kids in sync for the big day, we began the day with a semi-school day morning. We got up and had breakfast right away. No TV, no video games. The oldest is reading. The youngest is playing with cars and Lego's. The dog is looking from one to the other, wondering why no one is playing with him. The weather is a little dreary. It's supposed to rain all week. It's nice to give the grass a chance to recover some of it's color, but all the same, it would have been good to be able to enjoy the last few days of summer at the pool with friends.
I was somewhat uncertain that I could provide my kids with a summer to remember. This was my first summer home with my two children. I have to admit I was unsure that they wouldn't die of boredom as they simultaneously forgot everything they learned during the school year. We had plans to do math workbooks, read, do a little writing. That all worked out brilliantly. Summer cello lessons are ending on a very positive note. We didn't make any of the little day trips I was hoping to embark upon. No wandering around Harper's Ferry or St. Mary's City. We did go to Mount Vernon. We managed to get one father away from his office for 3 days to go to the mountains. We were very active, going to the pool almost every day. I made it to the gym 2 or 3 times every week. I think it was a good summer.
The tomatoes are beginning to ripen, finally. I'm sure there's some metaphor in there that a more skilled writer would be able to find. I am not that writer. I will take it as a positive sign. I don't look forward to sending my baby off to school next week. I wish I could keep him home forever. Kids grow, leaves fall, tomatoes ripen, time passes and there is nothing we can do to change it. I will keep my camera handy this week so I can capture as many moments of the swindling summer as I can.
I was somewhat uncertain that I could provide my kids with a summer to remember. This was my first summer home with my two children. I have to admit I was unsure that they wouldn't die of boredom as they simultaneously forgot everything they learned during the school year. We had plans to do math workbooks, read, do a little writing. That all worked out brilliantly. Summer cello lessons are ending on a very positive note. We didn't make any of the little day trips I was hoping to embark upon. No wandering around Harper's Ferry or St. Mary's City. We did go to Mount Vernon. We managed to get one father away from his office for 3 days to go to the mountains. We were very active, going to the pool almost every day. I made it to the gym 2 or 3 times every week. I think it was a good summer.
The tomatoes are beginning to ripen, finally. I'm sure there's some metaphor in there that a more skilled writer would be able to find. I am not that writer. I will take it as a positive sign. I don't look forward to sending my baby off to school next week. I wish I could keep him home forever. Kids grow, leaves fall, tomatoes ripen, time passes and there is nothing we can do to change it. I will keep my camera handy this week so I can capture as many moments of the swindling summer as I can.
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