Friday, May 1, 2009

An Open Letter to Divorcing Acquaintances

Dear Friends,
First let me say that I am sorry for the troubles that caused you and your spouse to go your separate ways. I know you are scared and sad and hurt and your children are also unhappy. But here's the thing; I really don't want to hear anymore spouse-bashing, and pretty much no one else does either.

You are making us all very uncomfortable. I don't want to hear about who the ex is dating and what your opinion of that person is. I don't want to hear about how your ex told you to return the car that is in their name. I don't want to hear about how your kids hate the person your ex is dating. I don't want to hear about the obnoxious text messages and phone calls.

This is what I have to say. I am sorry you are hurting. You have every right to mourn the loss of your relationship. I will be happy to listen to you as you discuss the efforts you are making to move on, But please don't be surprised when you get no response from me when you pull me aside as we pick up our children outside the elementary school and you launch into another diatribe. I have nothing to say. If there is something criminal going on, call the police. If there is something useful to your position in the proceedings, call your attorney. Please understand, though. I am not the person that you can contact to bash the ex. I don't approve.

Enough of that. And thought there may be more to say, I have to feed the kids, get ready for cello lessons and take one very excited first grader to a school dance.

Enjoy your day!

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