Shopping is a Nightmare

I'm not with all those people who find shopping to be pleasurable experience. I find it distasteful for many reasons, some of which I'll share with you today.

First, I can never find what I want when I want it. Right now, I would like a pair of white pants. I realize that many stores were selling white pants in May and June but I didn't want them in May or June. I have been working out very hard all summer and I now have the confidence in myself to put on a pair of white pants, but they are nowhere to be found, except, of course on the Internet. I will buy medium tops online, but that's about it. I am being denied my right to a pair of white pants in August by a bunch of retail merchants who think I should have wanted them two months ago.

Second, replenishment of critical items is very poor. We ventured out for school supplies yesterday. Now, I've had more than one bad experience with Target being out of one or more critical supply, mainly marble composition books. Because of this, we went first to Wal-Mart. Oh, Lord in heaven, what was I thinking? I have no issue shopping at Wal-Mart. We have a lot less money than we did a year ago so I'll take savings wherever I can get it. I was looking forward to a massive display of ultra-cheap pencils, paper, backpacks, etc. What did I get? Three 18 foot sections of name brand overpriced remains . It looked like they were getting ready to shut down the school supply business for the season. I came very close to leaving my cart in the middle of the store and departing. But I bought the few things we had in the cart and moved onto Target. I spent $150 on all the supplies, A Disney Pixar Cars backpack and thermos and a bunch of Ritter Sport bars for myself as a reward for not having a nervous breakdown in the middle of all of this.

Another reason I hate shopping is the sizes. Sizes don't match anywhere, but they seem to have one main thing in common. Wherever I shop, I am in between sizes, either 6 and 8, or 8 and 10. Of course, I watch "What not to Wear," so I know I shouldn't be obsessed with sizes, but since this advice comes from Twiggy and her twin brother, they can cram their size counseling where the sun doesn't shine. I am obsessed. I don't want to buy 10's. I want to wear a 6 and only a 6, damn it!

And this size thing isn't only an issue for me, but it's an issue for my oldest son. He is very tall and thin like his father and needs slims. This year, I need to come up with 16 slim pants for him. As far as I can tell, the only place to get these pants in JC Penney. Need a husky? No worries there. Huskies are all over the place! I worry about his label conscious peers. Are they label conscious they way my peers were when I was young? Will he be mocked if someone notices his Arizona brand jeans and realizes where they are from? I comfort myself with the thought that there are so many stores and labels that only the most obsessively fashion conscious child will make the connection. I don't think my son knows anyone like that. We may be safe. But the worry festers in the back of my mind and occasionally gives me some heartburn.

I will most likely never get my white pants. This is really sad. I'll probably boost my online shopping rate for Christmas up to 90% this year. I'm still grumpy from not having a single down arrow on my Target receipt. I can't believe I had to spend 99 cents on High School Musical folders.